Sharing

Me: Mia please share your crisps with Lily.
Mia: I'm a pirate, I don't have to share!

Recycling furry animals

We're at the tip.

Mia: What does that sign say mummy?
Me: It's says non-recyclable waste.
Mia: What does that mean?
Me: There are some things we can recycle, like cardboard. What other things can we recycle?
Mia: Plastic?
Me: Yes and glass.
Mia: But not squirrels, you can't recycle squirrels.

(A further conversation later in the day also revealed you can't recycle skunks or bunnies).

Love of a daughter

Mia: Mum you're amazing. You've got big muscles. And you stink.

Songwriting school

Alternative lyrics to Rumour has it by Adele

Mia: ohhhh Rupert has it. Harry, rupert has it. Rupert has it.

Furry and short

Mia: Squirrels can't open a door because they aren't strong or tall enough. After all, they need to reach the handle.

Babysitters

Me: So Nana's going to babysit for you tonight while me and daddy go out.
Mia: What's a babysitter?
Me: It's someone who looks after you so me and daddy can go and spend some time together.
Mia: And do what?
Me: Well talk about grown up things.
Mia: Ah like Christmas trees?
Me: (trying not to laugh) I suppose so.
Mia: Oh no, not Christmas trees. (Pause) You only talk about Christmas trees at Christmas!!!

Northern posh

Sat in the middle of Marks and Spencer cafe.

Mia: (in slightly posh and very loud voice) Ohhh mummy, I've got terrible wind. (pause). I've just farted.