Breakfast fallout

Background: At the weekend we all had bacon butties and Mia didn't want to eat the fat around her bacon. Ian said he ate his because it gave him hairs on his chest. Two days later we're all in the car:

Mia: Mum I've got hairs on my arms.
Me: Oh yes, how did they get there?
Mia: From eating bacon fat. But it's ok because I'm going to pinch them all out!

Keeping safe

Mia trips over for the third time today. She's sitting on my knee crying.

Me: I think I should wrap you in cotton wool so you don't get hurt.
Mia: (wailing) But if you do I won't be able to eat!!!!

Taste test

Mia is showing me her fairy princess toy ring.

Mia: Mummm my ring is very dirty.
Me: Er, ok
Mia: It's got brown stuff on it.

(It's actually completely clean)

Mia: I'm going to lick my ring clean!

Educating mummy

Reading Letterland phonics book with Mia, story about the sound 'sh'.

Me: So what words start with 'sh'?
Mia: Shell and shore mummy.
Me: Yes...
Mia: And shits!

Down with the kids

Radio on in the car, Rhianna ft. Drake What's my name playing.

Mia: Mummy, you know this song and the music we have on in the house.
Me: Yes love
Mia: Well it's got loads of ratting it in.
Me: You mean rapping?
Mia: No mummy (rolling eyes) it's called ratting.

American accent

Me, rolling a hula-hoop across the floor to Mia.

Mia: Aww mum, you are so arsesome.

Toilet humour

From inside the toilet cubicle in Marks and Spencer... (I'm stood outside waiting)

Mia: I love you Nicola!

Nun on the run

Ian is watching The Sound of Music with Mia. One of the opening scenes of the nuns walking in the courtyard (one of the nuns is carrying a basket).

Mia: What are they daddy?
Ian: They are nuns.
Mia: What are nuns?
Ian: Well they are ladies, they help people.
Mia: And they do washing!