Cars and nationality

Mia: Mum what's that sticker on that car?
Me: It's a GB sticker.
Mia: What is it for?
Me: It's to tell people you are from England when you are driving abroad.
Mia: Oh well I'm not from England!
Me: You are from England.
Mia: No I'm not, I'm from KFC Nissan.

Sign of the times

Me: Do you know what that signs says Mia? (pointing to sign saying 'Don't worry, be happy'.)
Mia: Yes...No Dogs Allowed, Pansy.

Harry Lego Potty

Mia's blithering on about Harry Potter.

Me: Mia do you know who Harry Potter is?
Mia: Yes he's a baddy.
Me: No he isn't. And anyway how do you know about Harry Potter.
Mia: I saw it on a Lego Advert.
Me: Ah ok, so do you know who he is? (I'm expecting her to answer wizard or something similar).
Mia: Oh yes mummy. Harry Potter is a boy made of Lego.

Boys, boys, boys

Mia: Mummy I'm not going to marry Adam anymore.
Me: Ok
Mia: I'm going to marry Marley.
Me: Why is that then?
Mia: His name starts with a M!

Shoe story

Ian, me and Mia watching tele. Advert for Lellie Kelly shoes comes on.

Mia: Daddy, you hate those shoes don't you?
Ian: Yes
Mia: It's ok daddy. I'll just wait until you die then I'll buy some Lellie Kelly shoes.

Name change

We're talking about the most popular names of 2010.

Ian: I love the name Mia.
Mia: I hate my name, I think it's silly.
Ian: Oh ok, what do you want your name to be?
Mia: Makka. Makka Pakka Simpson.

Cookery lessons

Mia: Mummy what are you making?
Me: Corned beef hash love
Mia: No mummy, it's Corned Beef Flash.

Working 9 to 5

Miss Cay, teacher at nursery: Do you mind me asking what you do for a living?
Me: No, I'm a writer.
Miss Cay: Ah we were talking about what jobs mums and dads did the other day.
Me: Oh right.
Miss Cay: Mia said you just sat around at home chatting on the phone.

Cybermummy meet and greet

Carly over at Mummy's Shoes is hosting a Meet and Greet for Cybermummy 11 which I'll be attending this year. I thought it would be nice to find out a bit about people before and I went (and probably better that they know my oddities too...).

Name: Nicola Cooper-Abbs

Blog: The Infinite Wisdom and Sell it Baby

Twitter ID: @sellitbaby_uk and @ncooperabbs

Height: A right short arse, about 5ft 3 on a good day.

Hair: Currently shoulder length and brown but who knows by the time Cybermummy rolls around (it changes quite a lot)

Eyes: Brown (or if I'm being posh hazel)

Likes: Wine, books (boringly obvious I know), writing, smiley people, learning.

Dislikes: Bad manners, people who don't indicate and donuts.

Sharing

Me: Mia please share your crisps with Lily.
Mia: I'm a pirate, I don't have to share!

Recycling furry animals

We're at the tip.

Mia: What does that sign say mummy?
Me: It's says non-recyclable waste.
Mia: What does that mean?
Me: There are some things we can recycle, like cardboard. What other things can we recycle?
Mia: Plastic?
Me: Yes and glass.
Mia: But not squirrels, you can't recycle squirrels.

(A further conversation later in the day also revealed you can't recycle skunks or bunnies).

Love of a daughter

Mia: Mum you're amazing. You've got big muscles. And you stink.

Songwriting school

Alternative lyrics to Rumour has it by Adele

Mia: ohhhh Rupert has it. Harry, rupert has it. Rupert has it.

Furry and short

Mia: Squirrels can't open a door because they aren't strong or tall enough. After all, they need to reach the handle.

Babysitters

Me: So Nana's going to babysit for you tonight while me and daddy go out.
Mia: What's a babysitter?
Me: It's someone who looks after you so me and daddy can go and spend some time together.
Mia: And do what?
Me: Well talk about grown up things.
Mia: Ah like Christmas trees?
Me: (trying not to laugh) I suppose so.
Mia: Oh no, not Christmas trees. (Pause) You only talk about Christmas trees at Christmas!!!

Northern posh

Sat in the middle of Marks and Spencer cafe.

Mia: (in slightly posh and very loud voice) Ohhh mummy, I've got terrible wind. (pause). I've just farted.

Breakfast fallout

Background: At the weekend we all had bacon butties and Mia didn't want to eat the fat around her bacon. Ian said he ate his because it gave him hairs on his chest. Two days later we're all in the car:

Mia: Mum I've got hairs on my arms.
Me: Oh yes, how did they get there?
Mia: From eating bacon fat. But it's ok because I'm going to pinch them all out!

Keeping safe

Mia trips over for the third time today. She's sitting on my knee crying.

Me: I think I should wrap you in cotton wool so you don't get hurt.
Mia: (wailing) But if you do I won't be able to eat!!!!

Taste test

Mia is showing me her fairy princess toy ring.

Mia: Mummm my ring is very dirty.
Me: Er, ok
Mia: It's got brown stuff on it.

(It's actually completely clean)

Mia: I'm going to lick my ring clean!

Educating mummy

Reading Letterland phonics book with Mia, story about the sound 'sh'.

Me: So what words start with 'sh'?
Mia: Shell and shore mummy.
Me: Yes...
Mia: And shits!

Down with the kids

Radio on in the car, Rhianna ft. Drake What's my name playing.

Mia: Mummy, you know this song and the music we have on in the house.
Me: Yes love
Mia: Well it's got loads of ratting it in.
Me: You mean rapping?
Mia: No mummy (rolling eyes) it's called ratting.

American accent

Me, rolling a hula-hoop across the floor to Mia.

Mia: Aww mum, you are so arsesome.

Toilet humour

From inside the toilet cubicle in Marks and Spencer... (I'm stood outside waiting)

Mia: I love you Nicola!

Nun on the run

Ian is watching The Sound of Music with Mia. One of the opening scenes of the nuns walking in the courtyard (one of the nuns is carrying a basket).

Mia: What are they daddy?
Ian: They are nuns.
Mia: What are nuns?
Ian: Well they are ladies, they help people.
Mia: And they do washing!