Facts of life

Mia: Mummy how did Lily get in your tummy? I don't mean how she got out your tummy, I know that. How did she really get in?
Me: Daddy and me loved each other very much and that's how Lily got in there.
Mia: Erm, that doesn't sound like the truth to me.

Who's she?

Me: I'm coming to school today to watch you sing Christmas carols.
Mia: Who's Carol?

Donkey

Mia asked me for a 'Christmas song' at bedtime so I sang Little Donkey.

Mia: What's Bethlehem?
Me: It's where some people think baby Jesus was born.
Mia: Ace, so if we go to Bethlehem we can meet Father Christmas?

Festive greetings

Mia is playing with her pink toy plastic phone.

Mia: Hi, is that Father Christmas? Yep, I've been really good. No, I haven't been naughty. Now stop being a weiner.

Talking

Ian and me are chatting in the car, up pipes a voice from the backseat.

Mia: Mummy, you really should stop talking so much, you'll lose your voice!

Eye Spy

Mia and me are playing i-spy in bed.

Me: I spy with my little eye something beginning with P.
Mia: Poat.
Me: That's not a real word love.
Mia: I mean boat.
Me: That doesn't start with P. I'll give you a clue. It's hanging on the wall. (I'm staring at the picture on the wall)
Mia: Errr.
Me: It's hanging between the two wardrobes.
Mia: Pants!!

Technology

Me: Mia, santa has sent you an email.
Mia: Brill, I'm going read my femail on facebook by my iphone.

Viva Espana

Mia: Mummy, what do the blue and green ones talk in Monsters Inc?
Me: What do you mean love?
Mia: English or Spanish?
Me: English. Do you want to learn some Spanish? 1,2,3 in Spanish is uno, dos, tres.
Mia: Uno, dos, tres.
Me: Do you want to say 'I'm Mia' in Spanish?
Mia: Oh yes (pause) I'm Mia in spanish.

Sentimental

Me: Hey Mia, you know all the funny things you say? Mummy put them all on a website so we can always remember them.
Mia: Mummy, stop talking and put the television on.

Personality

Picked Mia up from nursery one day.

Nursery nurse: Mia's had a great day. Best line of the day - I'm Mia, I'm bolshy!
Me: I wonder who she gets that from?

Animals

Mia: I don't really look like a doggy mum.
Me: Er, no you look like a human, that's what you are.
Mia: (In very sad voice) Ohh but I want to look like a doggy!

Feeding time at the zoo

Teatime in the Simpson/Cooper-Abbs household. Trying to get Mia (3) to stop faffing around and eat her tea.

Me: Come on Mia, if you don't hurry up Lily will be the winner.
Mia: *withering stare* It's not just about the winning mummy. It's about the eating.

It's a bum job

Mia (3) sees a squirrel in the garden.
Mia:Mummy, why do squirrels jump?
Me: Well, they jump and run.
Mia: Do they poo?
Me: Erm, yes.
Mia: Where do they poo from?
Me: Their bums.
Mia: Where is their bum?
Me: Erm under their tail.
Mia: (eyeing me suspiciously) Well I can't see their bum.

Teatime

Mia is messing around in the kitchen, trying to eat sweets instead of choosing what she wants for tea.

Me: Come on Mia, focus, what do you want for tea?
Mia: Lalalala
Me: What do you want? Soup? Sausages? Whatever...
Mia: Whatever!

Song lyrics

According to Mia, Whiter Shade of Pale by Procol Harem is about giraffes.

I'm a Barbie Girl

Mia: Mummy, do you know Barbie has a dog?
Me: No I didn't, what's his name?
Mia: Doggy Le Bark Bark.

Education matters

Walking to preschool & we see some girls from the local high school.
Mia: Do they go to really big school mummy?
Me: Yes, there's primary then secondary school, college and university.
Mia: I want to go to really really big school!
Me: University? Mummy & Daddy went to university, Mummy learnt how to be writer and daddy... learnt how to be a scientist.
Mia: Well when I go to university I want to learn chatterboxing.

Friends

Mia: Mum, can you pretend to be Mia and I'll pretend to be Jaydee.
Me: Who is Jaydee?
Mia: I have no idea.

Career choices

Mia asked me today how we make pennies (money). So I explained about work and jobs. Me: You know mummy writes things and people pay her. And Daddy does computer things and they give him money for that.

Cue knowing 3 year old look. Me: There are loads of different jobs, pilot, doctor, designer, anything you like really.... So what job do you want to do when you grow up.

Mia: I want to be a cat.

Flowery dogs

Me: Tell Daddy what kind of dog we saw the other day. It was white...
Mia: With black spots!
Me: Yes, do you think daddy knows what kind of doggy it was?
Mia: A pansy!!

Food or poo

Mia (3). In the car, we've just got home and we're on the driveway.

Mia: Mummmmmmyyyyy, a bumblebee has pooed on me.
Me: What do you mean?
Mia: There's a brown mark on my leg, it's not food, it's very brown, it's poo.

Bargaining

Mia: Mummy, I have a plan.
Me: Oh yes and what's that?
Mia: If you give me a kiss we'll do something, if you don't we won't.

Mmm tasty

Mia (3) is sat on the stairs with her daddy. She leans over and sniffs the fleece he is wearing.

Mia: Daddy, you smell like chicken pie.